( The feeling is almost like when he was scolded as a child, when he did know he'd done something wrong. The feeling that you shouldn't have done that and this whole sinking feeling would have been avoided. Regret but also a little bit of...shame?
It wasn't like anyone ever explicitly told him to make sure Lalli was okay. Weird things like watch him, follow him, bathe....him.... Those were all explicit commands, but being aware of Lalli's status was always something he just took upon himself. If Lalli wasn't okay he made sure he could try to correct it, but this is his fault.
Whether it's his fault for saying anything in the first place or pressing the issue, he's not sure. Whether he deserves to be at fault? Also not too sure; Emil's not the king of self-reflection. The "fault" here is cause and effect -- Lalli wouldn't be troubled if he wasn't a component in the issue.
It was his fault the last time too, but that was something a little more spastic and messy. Not that he ever had the chance to ask why it was his fault or make it better...Emil's no strategist, but he does know that if he can take the opportunity to actually ask what's up instead of trying to play telephone through a third party, he'd be stupid not to take it. )
Are you okay? You're upset, I think.
( Also not an upset he's seen much before. He's used to Lalli being more physically reactionary or angry, not receding. Will a tap or a pat or a blanket fix this? He'll go get one if necessary...
The only way to make his situation worse is to hurt Lalli on top of it all. )
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It wasn't like anyone ever explicitly told him to make sure Lalli was okay. Weird things like watch him, follow him, bathe....him.... Those were all explicit commands, but being aware of Lalli's status was always something he just took upon himself. If Lalli wasn't okay he made sure he could try to correct it, but this is his fault.
Whether it's his fault for saying anything in the first place or pressing the issue, he's not sure. Whether he deserves to be at fault? Also not too sure; Emil's not the king of self-reflection. The "fault" here is cause and effect -- Lalli wouldn't be troubled if he wasn't a component in the issue.
It was his fault the last time too, but that was something a little more spastic and messy. Not that he ever had the chance to ask why it was his fault or make it better...Emil's no strategist, but he does know that if he can take the opportunity to actually ask what's up instead of trying to play telephone through a third party, he'd be stupid not to take it. )
Are you okay? You're upset, I think.
( Also not an upset he's seen much before. He's used to Lalli being more physically reactionary or angry, not receding. Will a tap or a pat or a blanket fix this? He'll go get one if necessary...
The only way to make his situation worse is to hurt Lalli on top of it all. )