[Lalli jumps at the hand pressing against him, head jerking up, but only only so he can stare out into the space ahead of him. It was...weird to know beyond a doubt at that someone could feel that painful hammering. Before Emil can decide that with the end of his speech comes the end of the contact, Lalli reaches up to grip around the other boy's wrist. Tight. Unforgiving. Needy.
...
He still doesn't look at him as he loosens his fingers and shifts to adjust their bodies. He pushes him back some to create space, and opens his arm to the side so he can crawl into that space and curl Emil around himself. He gives Emil's wrist another squeeze, too tight, then pulls his arms around him, praying he gets the picture.]
Make me understand you're here. It's hard to feel it.
[And as much as he hopes Emil is obedient to his words, he finds himself equally grateful that he can't actually understand them. How pathetic he must sound... He can't imagine ever having the strength to say something like that, and so it could only come out when he was already broken and vulnerable. He would have been such a disappointment.]
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...
He still doesn't look at him as he loosens his fingers and shifts to adjust their bodies. He pushes him back some to create space, and opens his arm to the side so he can crawl into that space and curl Emil around himself. He gives Emil's wrist another squeeze, too tight, then pulls his arms around him, praying he gets the picture.]
Make me understand you're here. It's hard to feel it.
[And as much as he hopes Emil is obedient to his words, he finds himself equally grateful that he can't actually understand them. How pathetic he must sound... He can't imagine ever having the strength to say something like that, and so it could only come out when he was already broken and vulnerable. He would have been such a disappointment.]