( Honestly, it could have been hours as far as Emil's concerned. He grew spacey the more he pressed his face to Lalli's hair. His stuppor is broken once Lalli's position shifts and he suddenly feels like he's grabbing onto a small animal that's tired of a child's too tight of a grip: there's surety in the fact that the wriggling will get worse if he doesn't release him.
Emil lets go hesitantly, not sure where the repeated "I like you" fits into this. All that's truly evident is that Lalli is suddenly not that into this, and that's fine, but... )
You're also clinging to me? ( Not irritated or anything, just...stating facts. Maybe unhook yourself from his waist now. )
[He doesn't have time for this...! Lalli whines and does in fact retract his limbs instead trying to fight against Emil's, though his sudden haste means knocking his angular knee into his boyfriend's ribs on accident. No time to apologize, though. Lalli nearly trips immediately after getting to his feet, but he manages to make his way to his destination without further incident. Gods, could his bladder have chosen a worse fucking time...
A couple minutes later, Lalli returns and lays down on the floor.]
I don't know if it's better or worse I can't say, "oh hey, just gotta pee, boy soda sure is great, huh."
[He's back to being a bitter bitch. At least now it's stupid on top of depressing.]
( Here Emil is, thinking he's having some sudden touchphobic crisis, and now he's gotta feel bad about being all lovey dovey. AND HE WILL NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH. HE AND HIS CRACKED RIB WILL NEVER KNOW.
There isn't even time to investigate where Lalli hurried off to as he's holding his now war-torn rib in agony. God damn, those things are like knives if you catch the pointy part of the patella just right. By the time Emil thinks to get up on at least a knee, Lalli's back and on the floor, as mysterious as ever. )
I'm alright, just in case you were wondering. ( He can be bitter too, asshole. At least this means he doesn't have to stand up, and can instead slump back to the floor and sprawl out too, observing the ceiling as if something interesting will show up if he glares long enough. )
[And soooo much more relieved, you can't forget that. Even if he can't understand the words, he recognizes the tone and just gives an annoyed grunt in response. Whatever!! You don't understand his plight, you'll live, blah blah.
...No. As comfortable as he is in silence and staying on the floor, he isn't so deep in his own problems that he can't sense the downturn in Emil's mood and feel guilty about it. Movements slow, Lalli sits up enough that he can prop himself above the other's head and, with all the gentleness his previous touches had lacked, he brushes aside his bangs into the neatness he knew Emil liked. Nervous, he licks his bottom lip. It's with something like shame that he notices how horribly chapped it is...but he hopes Emil won't mind too much as he leans in and places a brief kiss against his forehead.]
( One day Emil will ask him wtf was up, don't worry. The annoyed noise is par for the course, and he just closes his eyes in response. He's suddenly not opposed to a nap, but tiredness isn't coming to him.
He opens his eyes at the soft touch, feeling both the slight movement of the fingers and the hairs grazing his forehead. Lalli is there, offering some kind of apology. It's accepted, of course. Hair is one of his soft spots of course.
The next action is a true surprise, though. Lalli may have just been leaning in to give him a patented stare, but he goes further to press his lips right there, where he can't look up to see. Yeah, he can feel the slight presence of the hardened skin, but everything else is so, so soft. The expression he's making, fond but shocked. It's one of those things that comes with the territory, bit the actual action has stupified him. )
[Unsure, he meets Emil's eyes and feels his heart thud painfully in his chest.]
...You look like an idiot.
[He looks beautiful. Lalli withdraws again, hoping that Emil hadn't had the chance to see his face heat up. It was embarrassing enough to allow him that moment of weakness and affection.]
( Emil may know 'stupid,' but he doesn't know 'idiot.' What Lalli says afterwards is a mystery to him, even though he giddily wishes he knew. It's impossible to keep laying down after that, instead sitting up to look at Lalli with a bit of awe. )
You kissed me. ( As if this is a fact Lalli needs to be informed of. Emil himself feels red, bashful at how intimate that simple action just was. )
[aaaaaa that tone is hard to mistake. Lalli huffs and jerks his face further away, shoulders hunching up as he does so. This is!! terrible!!!]
It isn't a big deal. [Whatever he was making a big deal out of, it wasn't warranted. Just a forehead kiss and some blushing! Nothing to see here!] Stop that.
( You're hot and you're cold, man!! Lalli jerks away and Emil would be thoroughly confused if he wasn't used to Lalli's flip-flopping on things like this. Not that there's been a lot of "things like this" that are like kissing, but it makes sense.
Emil had never been kissed in any capacity outside of a family member or the stray granny-like nanny he had as a youth. It would be a lie to say the idea hadn't crossed his mind before. Kissing is something people who date do. Except Lalli's appreciation for physical affection is sometimes hard to plan for. He never expected it would have happened today, especially after all that frustration. Now that it's a door that's been opened though... )
I want to kiss you, too. ( There's no way he knows how to say that in Finnish, so it's hard to tell how much he can convey like this. Lalli's hand is nearby, so he takes it in his own with a slightly squeezing grip. He doesn't want anything big, he promises. Just something small and recipcrocating. )
[His breath catches at the hold, but it does the job of drawing him out of his own bashful withdrawing enough that he glances over and can only feebly continue,] Not a big deal, just...felt right...
[He's calm, even if he's not comprehending. Probably as good a time as any.]
( Well, he doesn't hear "yes" in there, but Lalli's body language isn't as standoffish. The tone to his voice is softer, and he doesn't look like he's opposed to it -- if he even understood what Emil had said in the first place.
Lalli's not close enough for easy contact, so he scoots closer cautiously, trying to map out how he'll do this. His forehead is hard to really get to without major adjusting...okay, he's got this. Just breathe.
He leans in slowly before he lets go of Lalli's hand, instead placing his own on the top of Lalli's back. The skin he feels when his lips finally make contact with Lalli's cheek is soft and warm. There's also that feeling of his prominent bones with his nose barely brushing against that angular cheekbone. This is so simple, but it feels so wonderful. Emil can feel his heartbeat flutter slightly and his skin grow warmer. Kissing Lalli...something about this feels absolutely unreal, even if it's literally happening right now. )
[His own heart quickens as Emil nears, but even though it feels like it's growing with every beat and squeezing out his lungs, he can't be taken away from this moment. Shying away is tempting, but desire to have his moment of weakness reciprocated is something even stronger.
His thoughts are a cross between fuzzy static and AAAAAAAA.]
Nn.
[Lalli's face was already warm, but now it feels like fire, and he can't stop the nervous smile from twitching into place before he slaps his face into his hands for hiding.]
( Emil draws back in time to see that tiny smile before it's quickly replaced bya mass of slender fingers and a muffled remark. He...thinks? That's not as bad as it could be? There was some happiness in there somewhere, even if he was maybe not so happy about it afterwards. )
Are you okay? ( Man...it's hard to judge how seriously he should take this, but he can't help but be in a light-hearted mood, despite everything. He thinks back to when they were drinking, and how he wanted to see that rare and carefree smile. It's impossible to suppress a laugh, and he takes a soft hold onto one of Lalli's wrists. ) Don't cover it up. I want to see it!
[It's familiar, and there's comfort in that, even as his shame rises.]
Nooo...
[Ugh, too whiny. Annoying. In trying to buckle down against that, Lalli forces himself to lower his hands, fingers twining themselves into knots even as he tries to casually place them into his lap. Unfortunately, all this internal frustration did a number on that smile Emil wanted to see, his teeth digging in to suppress the nervous twist. His gaze hovers somewhere around Emil's shoulder rather than lifting to meet his jovial expression with his own ruined one.]
...Might need to do it again...
[Ah. He would know from just that. Shaking a bit, Lalli brushes his fingers against the spot Emil had kissed before reaching out with an encouraging graze to his boyfriend's jaw. Come here again, dummy.]
( The expression that is revealed to him is definitely hard to read, half-smile, half-clenched jaw. He chuffs a laugh at that, surprised but endeared to how strange it is, and also at how seemingly hard he's trying to win at this game.
And yet, despite his obvious hesitance, Lalli can still find it in him to be surprising and sweet. He reaches out to him in a gesture that is obvious, despite no words being needed. Where was the solemn, slumping man he'd almost pounded down the door to find an hour or so ago? Whatever the motivation is, whether it's a need to feel close or communicate without language, or even just a genuine desire, Emil isn't at all complaining.
He feels a little too nervous as to be daring enough to go for Lalli's mouth, but he does lean in and try for his nose. The upturned tip makes it hard to kiss at that angle, but he does catch the side of it. Something about this feels so silly, and he laughs lightly before he pulls away. It is a little embarrassing, even if he's not at all aware that Lalli voiced that same sentiment moments ago. )
Edited (i have reading comprehension i swear) 2018-02-10 22:13 (UTC)
[His eyes squeeze shut at Emil's approach, and it'll be easy to feel the light wrinkle in his nose that comes along with it. He can revel in the act once Emil is drawing back, though, and while he's still flushed, the worry on his face smoothes out to allow another smile, though this one is even tinier than before.]
Don't laugh... [Mrrrh, he's still being whiny. He sighs dramatically, trying to expell both the good and the bad nerves and just leave contentment. He'd never succeed, too tightly wound, but he can still make the effort and lean in to both his arms around one of Emil's to hug it to him while he flops his back against the other's chest. Tired, clingy, on the brink of humiliated, but...happier. More settled.]
I think I'm going to die because of you. One way or another.
( One good thing about Lalli being unable to verbally communicate is that he seems to be more willing to physically communicate what he wants than when he has to ask for it with words. Especially since the words he's saying...no clue, no idea, what the hell are you talking about. It can't be anything too bad based on the physical actions, and that's a good sign.
Honestly, if Lalli could sleep that would be so wonderful right now -- well, wonderful all the time since being a permanent insomniac sucks, but specifically, right now would be great. Thinking about him dozing off while Emil could strokes his head and feel the full weight of him...when Lalli feels okay with tactile stimulation, Emil can truly live his best gay life. With Lalli's back directly pressed against him, it's possible to feel all of those tight muscles there, only slightly malleable because of his current relaxation.
Lalli already has one of his arms, but he'll gladly give him the other as well to secure him in place. He's not sure if that will be readily accepted, since Lalli does like to be able to wriggle away when he needs to, but he circles those words over and over. Make me understand you're here. That lovely head is right there, and Emil leans into it, eyes closed. He'd only planned on breathing there, but the impulse to kiss there too is simple too much to resist. Ah yes, some bucket list goals have been cleared today. )
I like you. ( He could say a lot and never shut up right now, but that phrase is an understanding baseline. It's also the simplest way to express anything else he could babble on about right now. )
[The warmth had just been a blush before, he thinks, but the kiss drizzles heat through his veins to reach the very tips of his toes and back, and that fire tingles when the words to accompany the action registers. Emil likes him. He hears it, he feels it, he believes it.]
I like you, too. [But his admission is a barely-audible mumble said into Emil's arm, which he hugs tighter. His arm. Never letting go. Until he decides this snugglefest has gone on long enough or his magic drains him to the point of a hungry anger, anyway.]
( Whatever Lalli said is lost on him, but the tiny vibrations of breath he can feel even through the sleeves of his sweater are nice. There's no sign that he's letting go at all, but that's fine. He could stay like this for a while -- ~forever~ if it was possible.
...Except it's most definitely not. He really needs to get up right now, but that's of course impossible when there's a dude clinging onto your arm like a koala. His other arm is his to control, but he doesn't want to just rip the other away...he jiggles it lightly, trying to get Lalli's attention. Please, he needs to get up...the script is about to be flipped on your weak bladder-having ass. )
( Oh my god...when Lalli needed to get up for mysterious fucking reasons, he was kind enough to let him out of his grasp. He wishes he could stay like this babe, but alas. And he's being pinched on top of that? This little shit...
After another 30 seconds and Lalli still hasn't shown any signs of moving, the time to take action is now. He shoves him off with his free arm, though as...delicately...as he possibly can, standing up with Lalli still attached. Hoping that he maybe gets the picture now, Emil wriggles some more, fighting to stand up completely while he's got a hundred-some-odd pounds of human attached to him. )
I'm sorry but you won't let go. I'm not leaving forever! ( HE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LET HIM LIVE )
[YOU ALREADY KNOW HE'S A DICK, EMIL, WHY IS THIS A SURPRISE. It should also be no surprise that he's offended by these actions and while he'll let go, he will also push himself up to his feet and cross him arms. How? dare you?? Fuck you, he's following to see what's so GODS DAMNED IMPORTANT.]
( Well, that worked out in the end!! Except no, it didn't. He's heading for the door when he sees Lalli looking impossibly cross, giving him A Look that lets Emil know he fucked up unbelievably. Oh well! You don't own his kidneys!
Emil's also not about his boyfriend following him to go pee, so he'll shut the door again and give him a similar Look. )
You're not going to follow me! I'll be back in two minutes, just sit down.
[He can't understand he's being told to sit, and yet he gives an irritable growl as if imitating a dog not wanting to follow through on the command. Still, the tone and body language of shut up, sit down, do nothing is something he's seen and been forced to follow or face consequences more times that he can count.
Lalli kicks the ground to show his TRUE DISPLEASURE at the situation, then obediently perches on the bed. Fine.]
( Lalli is very obviously not happy about this situation, but he'll have to find some way to fix it when he gets back. He's good to his word and only gone for about two minutes, a majority of which is spent drying his hands more than necessary so they aren't damp and clammy.
When he opens the door, it's only a crack and he peeks in to likely see Lalli looking just as perturbed as when he left him. Great...wonderful! )
I'm sorry! I didn't want that to be as...dramatic. ( He's not sure just how much he wants to apologize, but he knows that some of the problem is that language barrier. That's why he makes sure his tone and face emphasize the apology. ) I told you I'd be right back, and I am, right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Emil lets go hesitantly, not sure where the repeated "I like you" fits into this. All that's truly evident is that Lalli is suddenly not that into this, and that's fine, but... )
You're also clinging to me? ( Not irritated or anything, just...stating facts. Maybe unhook yourself from his waist now. )
no subject
A couple minutes later, Lalli returns and lays down on the floor.]
I don't know if it's better or worse I can't say, "oh hey, just gotta pee, boy soda sure is great, huh."
[He's back to being a bitter bitch. At least now it's stupid on top of depressing.]
no subject
There isn't even time to investigate where Lalli hurried off to as he's holding his now war-torn rib in agony. God damn, those things are like knives if you catch the pointy part of the patella just right. By the time Emil thinks to get up on at least a knee, Lalli's back and on the floor, as mysterious as ever. )
I'm alright, just in case you were wondering. ( He can be bitter too, asshole. At least this means he doesn't have to stand up, and can instead slump back to the floor and sprawl out too, observing the ceiling as if something interesting will show up if he glares long enough. )
no subject
...No. As comfortable as he is in silence and staying on the floor, he isn't so deep in his own problems that he can't sense the downturn in Emil's mood and feel guilty about it. Movements slow, Lalli sits up enough that he can prop himself above the other's head and, with all the gentleness his previous touches had lacked, he brushes aside his bangs into the neatness he knew Emil liked. Nervous, he licks his bottom lip. It's with something like shame that he notices how horribly chapped it is...but he hopes Emil won't mind too much as he leans in and places a brief kiss against his forehead.]
no subject
He opens his eyes at the soft touch, feeling both the slight movement of the fingers and the hairs grazing his forehead. Lalli is there, offering some kind of apology. It's accepted, of course. Hair is one of his soft spots of course.
The next action is a true surprise, though. Lalli may have just been leaning in to give him a patented stare, but he goes further to press his lips right there, where he can't look up to see. Yeah, he can feel the slight presence of the hardened skin, but everything else is so, so soft. The expression he's making, fond but shocked. It's one of those things that comes with the territory, bit the actual action has stupified him. )
no subject
...You look like an idiot.
[He looks beautiful. Lalli withdraws again, hoping that Emil hadn't had the chance to see his face heat up. It was embarrassing enough to allow him that moment of weakness and affection.]
no subject
You kissed me. ( As if this is a fact Lalli needs to be informed of. Emil himself feels red, bashful at how intimate that simple action just was. )
no subject
It isn't a big deal. [Whatever he was making a big deal out of, it wasn't warranted. Just a forehead kiss and some blushing! Nothing to see here!] Stop that.
no subject
Emil had never been kissed in any capacity outside of a family member or the stray granny-like nanny he had as a youth. It would be a lie to say the idea hadn't crossed his mind before. Kissing is something people who date do. Except Lalli's appreciation for physical affection is sometimes hard to plan for. He never expected it would have happened today, especially after all that frustration. Now that it's a door that's been opened though... )
I want to kiss you, too. ( There's no way he knows how to say that in Finnish, so it's hard to tell how much he can convey like this. Lalli's hand is nearby, so he takes it in his own with a slightly squeezing grip. He doesn't want anything big, he promises. Just something small and recipcrocating. )
no subject
[He's calm, even if he's not comprehending. Probably as good a time as any.]
no subject
Lalli's not close enough for easy contact, so he scoots closer cautiously, trying to map out how he'll do this. His forehead is hard to really get to without major adjusting...okay, he's got this. Just breathe.
He leans in slowly before he lets go of Lalli's hand, instead placing his own on the top of Lalli's back. The skin he feels when his lips finally make contact with Lalli's cheek is soft and warm. There's also that feeling of his prominent bones with his nose barely brushing against that angular cheekbone. This is so simple, but it feels so wonderful. Emil can feel his heartbeat flutter slightly and his skin grow warmer. Kissing Lalli...something about this feels absolutely unreal, even if it's literally happening right now. )
no subject
His thoughts are a cross between fuzzy static and AAAAAAAA.]
Nn.
[Lalli's face was already warm, but now it feels like fire, and he can't stop the nervous smile from twitching into place before he slaps his face into his hands for hiding.]
This is so embarrassing.
no subject
Are you okay? ( Man...it's hard to judge how seriously he should take this, but he can't help but be in a light-hearted mood, despite everything. He thinks back to when they were drinking, and how he wanted to see that rare and carefree smile. It's impossible to suppress a laugh, and he takes a soft hold onto one of Lalli's wrists. ) Don't cover it up. I want to see it!
no subject
Nooo...
[Ugh, too whiny. Annoying. In trying to buckle down against that, Lalli forces himself to lower his hands, fingers twining themselves into knots even as he tries to casually place them into his lap. Unfortunately, all this internal frustration did a number on that smile Emil wanted to see, his teeth digging in to suppress the nervous twist. His gaze hovers somewhere around Emil's shoulder rather than lifting to meet his jovial expression with his own ruined one.]
...Might need to do it again...
[Ah. He would know from just that. Shaking a bit, Lalli brushes his fingers against the spot Emil had kissed before reaching out with an encouraging graze to his boyfriend's jaw. Come here again, dummy.]
no subject
And yet, despite his obvious hesitance, Lalli can still find it in him to be surprising and sweet. He reaches out to him in a gesture that is obvious, despite no words being needed. Where was the solemn, slumping man he'd almost pounded down the door to find an hour or so ago? Whatever the motivation is, whether it's a need to feel close or communicate without language, or even just a genuine desire, Emil isn't at all complaining.
He feels a little too nervous as to be daring enough to go for Lalli's mouth, but he does lean in and try for his nose. The upturned tip makes it hard to kiss at that angle, but he does catch the side of it. Something about this feels so silly, and he laughs lightly before he pulls away. It is a little embarrassing, even if he's not at all aware that Lalli voiced that same sentiment moments ago. )
no subject
Don't laugh... [Mrrrh, he's still being whiny. He sighs dramatically, trying to expell both the good and the bad nerves and just leave contentment. He'd never succeed, too tightly wound, but he can still make the effort and lean in to both his arms around one of Emil's to hug it to him while he flops his back against the other's chest. Tired, clingy, on the brink of humiliated, but...happier. More settled.]
I think I'm going to die because of you. One way or another.
no subject
Honestly, if Lalli could sleep that would be so wonderful right now -- well, wonderful all the time since being a permanent insomniac sucks, but specifically, right now would be great. Thinking about him dozing off while Emil could strokes his head and feel the full weight of him...when Lalli feels okay with tactile stimulation, Emil can truly live his best gay life. With Lalli's back directly pressed against him, it's possible to feel all of those tight muscles there, only slightly malleable because of his current relaxation.
Lalli already has one of his arms, but he'll gladly give him the other as well to secure him in place. He's not sure if that will be readily accepted, since Lalli does like to be able to wriggle away when he needs to, but he circles those words over and over. Make me understand you're here. That lovely head is right there, and Emil leans into it, eyes closed. He'd only planned on breathing there, but the impulse to kiss there too is simple too much to resist. Ah yes, some bucket list goals have been cleared today. )
I like you. ( He could say a lot and never shut up right now, but that phrase is an understanding baseline. It's also the simplest way to express anything else he could babble on about right now. )
no subject
I like you, too. [But his admission is a barely-audible mumble said into Emil's arm, which he hugs tighter. His arm. Never letting go. Until he decides this snugglefest has gone on long enough or his magic drains him to the point of a hungry anger, anyway.]
no subject
...Except it's most definitely not. He really needs to get up right now, but that's of course impossible when there's a dude clinging onto your arm like a koala. His other arm is his to control, but he doesn't want to just rip the other away...he jiggles it lightly, trying to get Lalli's attention. Please, he needs to get up...the script is about to be flipped on your weak bladder-having ass. )
no subject
no subject
After another 30 seconds and Lalli still hasn't shown any signs of moving, the time to take action is now. He shoves him off with his free arm, though as...delicately...as he possibly can, standing up with Lalli still attached. Hoping that he maybe gets the picture now, Emil wriggles some more, fighting to stand up completely while he's got a hundred-some-odd pounds of human attached to him. )
I'm sorry but you won't let go. I'm not leaving forever! ( HE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LET HIM LIVE )
no subject
no subject
Emil's also not about his boyfriend following him to go pee, so he'll shut the door again and give him a similar Look. )
You're not going to follow me! I'll be back in two minutes, just sit down.
no subject
Lalli kicks the ground to show his TRUE DISPLEASURE at the situation, then obediently perches on the bed. Fine.]
no subject
When he opens the door, it's only a crack and he peeks in to likely see Lalli looking just as perturbed as when he left him. Great...wonderful! )
I'm sorry! I didn't want that to be as...dramatic. ( He's not sure just how much he wants to apologize, but he knows that some of the problem is that language barrier. That's why he makes sure his tone and face emphasize the apology. ) I told you I'd be right back, and I am, right?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)