( Oops, he can't help but Big Sigh at that. He knows now!! The thing is still in his fridge!!! Still, Emil can't fault Lalli for reminding him of that shitty morning. He's personally of two minds, since looking back? Yeah that was...bad. But he also knows where his own mind was at, so he is a little defensive of A Few Days Ago Emil. )
I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just...I didn't think you could ever see me as someone to like. And if you just got me the cake to be nice, not to tell me anything bigger than that, and I thought you did mean something bigger and responded to it...that would have been embarrassing.
( It was also definitely more than that, which he'd cautiously accepted over the next days. ) If I'd said something to you and you thought I was gross or insane, and if that made you feel awkward around me, I...
( Emil trails off. His mind tries to go back to shutting out those negative thoughts, and he lets it this time -- that didn't happen. It's alright, even though his stomach flips a little at even the subconscious consideration. )
( This little shit...oh well, Emil has accepted that his boyfriend can be an asshole sometimes. He only has a minor complaint with all that. ) I don't do gross things. ( He can live with embarrassing and insane, but gross...boy.
At the second part, Emil looks over at Lalli for a moment, observing him completely. Weird and scary is a good way to put it, but...that's just the negative side of it, when the positive is so much more present to him. Lalli's arms are wrapped around his knees, so it'd be hard to grab his hand. Instead, Emil rests his head against his shoulder very lightly, talking with the same tone of gentleness. )
I think it'll feel...less like that after a while. At least I hope so...I don't want you to be scared.
[Soft as his words, Lalli shifts to rest his cheek on Emil's head. He's still tense, holding himself back, because some part of him worries that the sharpness of his bones was going to be enough to pop this dreamy scenario and turn Emil into a puff of smoke. But he can feel him there. That's nice.]
You kissed a lizard, too. ( He's formulating the callout post as we speak. The lizard in question hears themselves being discussed and claws their way up onto the bed frame, curling their fat tail around their body to lay down while staring at the two of them with their big, unblinking black eyes. Don't @ them either, assholes.
Emil's insecurities and anxieties aren't the same as Lalli's, but that feeling of presence is still nice and comforting. There are a lot of things to be uncertain about -- things that he doesn't want to, and won't, think about for now. But the weight of Lalli's head on his own helps to clear his mind of all of that without any extra effort. He's sharp, but also so soft in many unexpected ways. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just...I didn't think you could ever see me as someone to like. And if you just got me the cake to be nice, not to tell me anything bigger than that, and I thought you did mean something bigger and responded to it...that would have been embarrassing.
( It was also definitely more than that, which he'd cautiously accepted over the next days. ) If I'd said something to you and you thought I was gross or insane, and if that made you feel awkward around me, I...
( Emil trails off. His mind tries to go back to shutting out those negative thoughts, and he lets it this time -- that didn't happen. It's alright, even though his stomach flips a little at even the subconscious consideration. )
no subject
Mmn. You do embarrassing, gross, insane things all the time, you know. It's fine for you.
[...or he could just. keep being an ass.]
It really is weird you'd like me. I like that you do, of course, but... Yes. It feels weird. Scary.
no subject
At the second part, Emil looks over at Lalli for a moment, observing him completely. Weird and scary is a good way to put it, but...that's just the negative side of it, when the positive is so much more present to him. Lalli's arms are wrapped around his knees, so it'd be hard to grab his hand. Instead, Emil rests his head against his shoulder very lightly, talking with the same tone of gentleness. )
I think it'll feel...less like that after a while. At least I hope so...I don't want you to be scared.
no subject
[don't @ him motherfucker]
...Hn.
[Soft as his words, Lalli shifts to rest his cheek on Emil's head. He's still tense, holding himself back, because some part of him worries that the sharpness of his bones was going to be enough to pop this dreamy scenario and turn Emil into a puff of smoke. But he can feel him there. That's nice.]
Yeah.
no subject
Emil's insecurities and anxieties aren't the same as Lalli's, but that feeling of presence is still nice and comforting. There are a lot of things to be uncertain about -- things that he doesn't want to, and won't, think about for now. But the weight of Lalli's head on his own helps to clear his mind of all of that without any extra effort. He's sharp, but also so soft in many unexpected ways. )